QUICK’N DIRTY: LIVE FROM TALLINN
An angel dies every time someone makes a film about pornography without any real sex in it. It’s the equivalent to creating a biopic of Freddie Mercury without any real music in it. But perhaps that’s just the cynical porn producer and writer in me talking. Think of England isn’t a bad movie. It utilises transactional sex (namely: pornography) is a gauge of masculinity and the readiness to fight. The film boasts some strong scenes and peculiar takeaways. Just don’t expect non-simulated sexual interaction.
The story place in 1943 on a sandy island in Orkney, Scotland. Churchill commissions Jewish German filmmaker Max Meyer (Ben Bela Böhm), who previously worked with Marlene Dietrich and presumably fled Germany because of his semitic blood, to direct a pornographic feature in order to please the hard-working boys on the front. Theatre actress Holly (Natalie Quarry), in her 20s and with the perfect English rose looks, reluctantly agrees to the secret mission. She is to engage is full-on coitus with Corporal Harry Evans (Jack Bandeira), working under the more flamboyant artistic name of Tyrone Higgs. The devilish male possesses the perfectly chiselled features of Harry Styles and the manic gaze of Karlheinz Böhm (of Michael Powell’s Peeping Tom, 1960). The lady feels intimidated – perhaps even terrified – by her swivel-eyed partner-to-be. The highly intrusive crew that will do their very best in order to elicit the perfect performance from the poor woman. The promise of a bullet between the eyes can be very persuasive.
Much of this 105-minute film revolves around Holly’s hesitation to get naked and have sex in front of others. As any good English girl would. Holy’s awkwardness is infectious. Harry is far less timid, perhaps because he’s taking methamphetamines that he stole from a German soldier who surrendered himself. His behaviour becomes increasingly erratic, which culminates in a violent outburst. The film climaxes (innuendo intended) when Harry decides to bring the German soldier (whom he previously kept hanging upside down inside a bedsheet cocoon in a nearby a tent; yes, it’s as weird as it sounds) into the film set. A gun duel, an improptu fluffer moment, strange flashbacks, an Yiddish prayer, a Zarah Leander song, and something about the Swedish Red Cross ensue. Some capital knowledge is required in order to make head or tail of the developments. A messy and bizarre denouement, outrageous in its content and ambitions, aesthetically accomplished, however barely intelligible. In some ways, this story is delicious is its inventiveness/absurdity.
Bandeira and Quarry are very strong in the leading roles, and the supporting actors too are satisfactory. Sarah Cunningham’s vibrant cinematography – often switching between black-and-white and colour for bona fide narrative purposes – also deserves praise.
Richard Hawkins’s second feature film (after a hiatus of more than two decades: he directed Everything in 2004) ascertains in a title card that sexual frustration – and not the libido – is what drives men to fight. Might this explain why the British won the War? I have no idea about the origin of the teaching (I recall neither Sigmund Freud or Magnus Hirschfeld theorising that). It sounds like a concoction from the colourful mind of helmer and scribe as he seeks to emphasise the movie’s anti-war credentials. And that’s fine. Ultimately, Think of England is a film about English inhibitions and the ugly repercussions of war. There is also a vague comment on censorship, as the Hays Code is briefly mentioned. The final message is a well-intentioned, if a little muddled.
The movie wraps up with some of the longest text cards I have seen in a long time, detailing the fictitious destiny of each one of the fictional characters. Viewers are informed that the German soldier survived and his grandchild joined the xenophobic far-right AfD (inevitably drawing laughter from some audience members). This is an interesting and audacious device, and a reminder of the seventh art’s magnificent power to fool audiences (please allow me to twist Jean-Luc Godard’s famous quote: “cinema is lies 24 frames-per-second”). The problem is that this too is a little confusing, plus somewhat protracted.
Think of England just premiered in the Official Competition of the 29th Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival. Avoid it if you’re horny or high on methamphetamines.
