A black screen is penetrated by the sounds of a quarrel between a mother and daughter. Car doors open and close, they argue about already being late and the mother tells the daughter to put a little lipstick on because she looks dead. This is paraphrasing the back and forth banter that lasts for around a minute, at which point director Angeline Gragasin and co-writer Elisha Mlotek’s dramatic comedy, Myself When I Am Real, visually comes to life.

It is the year 2000 in the Wisconsin suburbs, humorously described by teenager Jasmine (Lianah Sta. Ana) as “the middle of nowhere.” It’s obvious she’s being forced to accompany her mother, Annette (Therese Dizon) to a Filipino Christmas party, which is hosted by Mercedes (Tina Chilip). As the evening unfolds, Annette’s controlling behaviour and desperation to make new friends and elevate her social standing is laid bare.

Myself When I Am Real is shot to resemble a home video, which only makes the film’s visually bare opening that much more jarring. The home video style carries voyeuristic connotations. However, by omitting the visuals in the first minute and only listening in on Annette and Jasmine’s private conversation, Gragasin emphasises voyeuristic eavesdropping. It recalls the importance of what is not only seen but heard, which stirs memories of films like Francis Ford Coppola’s The Conversation (1974) and Brian de Palma’s Blow Out (1981). This connection might appear a stretch, but Myself When I Am Real is about watching and listening. And the juxtaposition of the story’s beginning and end are integral moments in its construction.

The home video aesthetic is somewhat of a double-edged blade, and it’s not clear that Gragasin escapes unscathed. There are two ways to look at Myself When I Am Real. The first is, Gragasin is adopting the home video style, but it’s not intended to take the literal form of an edited home video. The second is, it’s an authentically edited home video, but that then raises the question by who and why? And, similar to the found footage genre whose integrity is frequently breached in illogical moments, Myself When I Am Real’s final sequence compromises its integrity. Until then, it’s believable that everything could have been caught on camera, but this final sequence is a dramatic conclusion to a premeditated narrative.

This aside, Gragasin lays bare her desire to be creatively expressive. What’s striking is her ability to penetrate the hive of human conversation, karaoke and dance to pick out subtle observations to build the themes and ideas.

Myself When I Am Real invites the audience to piece together what is being visually conveyed. Whether it’s a shot beneath the table that hones in on Mercedes’ brightly painted toe nail poking through a hole in her tights or the camera zooming in on Annette reprimanding her daughter, Gragasin is attentive to the finer details of her drama.

Gragasin also shows a particular skill for constructing layers — the external or extroverted world of the party opposite the internal or introverted inner worlds of Jasmine and Annette.

We can feel Annette’s anxiety to make a good impression on Mercedes and the other guests. Terrified, she tells Jasmine not to play with Mercedes’ dog, Louis Vuitton. It’s as if she sees her daughter as a liability. When Jasmine impresses everyone by singing O Holy Night, Annette is thankful that she’s proven to be an asset rather than a distraction. However, there’s still time for things to go awry.

It might appear that Annette or Mecredes are the dominant characters, but Jasmine is the film’s driving force. If Myself When I Am Real is about watching and listening, it’s a recognition of a specific adolescent experience — parental pressure. Jasmine struggles to confidentially express herself in her mother’s shadow and even around the other adults. Her joy playing with Louis Vuitton and dazzling everyone when she sings O Holy Night, presents her as a flower that’s desperately trying to bloom, but her mother is blocking out the sunlight.

There are a few moments when we see the ‘real’ Jasmine. Other times she adopts a defensive posture, like when her mother and the other guests humorously patronise her at the dinner table.

This is not a coming of age story despite the press materials trying to shoehorn it into this sub-genre. Instead, it’s a prologue about Jasmine’s relationship with her mother which are the foundations of her eventual transformative story, that will either help form the person she wants to be or hold her back. And the edited home video form resembles Jasmine’s future memories of her adolescence — the hope and the pathos.

Myself When I Am Real was selected for the Los Angeles Asia Pacific Film Festival