Ruth (Syratt) and her Megan (Megan Stevenson) run a charity shop in the sleepy suburb of Muswell Hill, in North London. Except that they prefer calling it a “vintage” or a “retro” shop. That’s because it sounds trendier, plus it serves to justify the price tags on their products, each coming with a presumed layer of history. Their business isn’t going very well, however, with a notable shortage of old clothes and bric-a-brac. Fortunately for them, someone abandoned a dodgem in the garbage, which turns out to be a time-travel vessel.
The two women travel to various different periods of history and geographies, including Medieval Britain and the American Wild West. They acquire a sword and pick up a hat from a cowboy shot dead right in front of their eyes. The violence surprises the ladies, but it does distract them from their objectives. Back to the present, they attempt to sell the sword to an unsuspecting elderly customer, insisting that it’s an ancient letter opener. Meanwhile, a customer is disappointed that their Henry vacuum cleaner is not for sales. The two shop owners gradually begin accustomed to travelling to the past, even for trivial tasks such as buying Chinese from the local restaurant that shut a few years earlier. That’s when their habit becomes a little dangerous. A cat becomes their first casualty, but it shouldn’t be long before one of them gets into real trouble.
It eventually turns out that the device was invented by Ralph (Brian Bovell), a former television presenter and the chairperson of the eccentric Muswell Hill Science Club. The organisation operates mostly from the local pub, particularly at quiz time. Ralph has the habit of loudly debating himself, questioning his own leadership skills and the group’s ability to form a quorum. It is this bizarre motley crew that has to come to their rescue.
This is a low-budget movie never embarrassed to embrace such aesthetic. The scenes in the past look wilfully cheap and stagey. There is no blood when the cowboy gets repeatedly and fatally shot. Clumsy, colourful frequency waves adorn the screen, representing a time tunnel. Or a cheap disco. Everything looks wilfully tacky and deliciously preposterous. This is the movie’s dirtiest achievement.
The first half of this film is charming and endearing. Much of the action is captured in talking heads style, as Ruth and Megan discuss their ambitions and motivations with the audiences from inside their vintage shop (which exists in real life). “You cannot put a price on nostalgia, but we do”, one of them admits. Stephen Fry delivers some timely narration, tying the events together. The confessional sequences recall super-British television mockumentary Deep Fake Neighbour Wars, combined with long defunct series Smack the Pony’s semi-deadpan, crude humour. The humour of the second half, however, is a little stale, as the story becomes dogged by pointless twists and the repetitive CGI, while the mockumentary language of the first half gets lost in translation.
Time Travel is Dangerous shows in the 3rd Mediterrane Film Festival. On various VoD platforms on Monday, September 29th. A genuinely British laugh.
