Some of us are quick to admit secretly wishing to be on the receiving end of a grand romantic gesture straight out of a romcom. Most won’t be as open about their romantic expectations. Either way, Hollywood’s beautiful, uplifting, and cheesy romcoms tend to lead genre fans into a cycle of unrealistic expectations and subsequent disappointment. Films like Love Actually (Richard Curtis, 2003; pictured above), When Harry Met Sally (Rob Reiner, 1989) and The Proposal (Anne Fletcher, 2009) are unforgettable. They are partially realistic, comically show the good and the bad, and raise viewers’ love standards.

Every romcom features a “confrontation” between the screen couple about one partner needing to find out what they want from life. It’s usually near the end of the movie, takes up five minutes of screen time at most, and we know what will follow: fireworks, a flash mob, and passionate kisses, probably in the rain.

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Hollywood’s role as a global cultural source

Hollywood became a global cultural source in the late 20th and early 21st century as globalization intensified and the US government actively promoted cultural product trade and free trade agendas. US media corporations boomed worldwide, along with their ability to create big-budget films appealing to popular tastes across world cultures. Despite globalisation, film production remained focused in Hollywood. This was due to several factors: the US had the largest home market in dollar value, the films were entertaining and highly visible, and English had become the universal language, compensating for higher fixed production costs.

As of 2025, Hollywood holds 75% of the international film market. It earns more than 70% of all film production revenue and accounts for more than 85% of global box office revenues and almost 80% of film revenue in North America. The US film industry contributes $49 billion a year to the US economy and exports entertainment content worth around $34 billion. It spent around $15 billion a year on film production, also dominating the international film market in 2024.

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How romcoms shape dating expectations and relationship priorities

It follows that dating cross-culturally could be at least somewhat similar to intracultural dating in terms of expectations. It’s definitely disappointing to find out there hasn’t been much of a difference after swearing off potential partners from your own culture and seeking out those from a new one. That’s how profound romcoms’ impact has been.

Creating the right expectations is paramount to avoid such disappointment. It’s fun to start a new relationship, but a promising beginning is also the best time for the awkward conversations, so you make sure you’re on the same page.

People need to find out whether they’re interested in casual dating or ready to embark on an emotionally invested relationship. Most relationships begin with casual dating, so it’s a tricky question. Furthermore, they must consider which qualities are the most important to them in a relationship and set priorities. You might be happy with an open relationship or not tolerate cheating in any way. Whichever it is, your preference to always split the check shouldn’t overshadow that.

The other person also needs time to communicate their expectations and priorities. Don’t bring the subject up randomly. Ask in advance when a good time would be to talk about boundaries and expectations.

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The damage caused by unrealistic romcom expectations

Yes, romantic comedies have done a world of damage. Despite being a huge box office hit, the classic Pretty Woman remains one of the most serious offenders. Not only did it raise expectations of receiving a $250,000 necklace from your partner, but it also romanticized a profession that is is anything but appealing and was not a choice for many of those practicing it.

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The global influence of romantic comedies on emotional perception

Romantic comedies don’t only influence expectations in the US or English-speaking countries; they have a global reach that shapes romantic ideals across diverse cultures. Streaming platforms and international box office success bring these narratives to audiences worldwide, affecting how love is perceived and enacted. This cultural transmission often leads to a homogenisation of romantic ideals, sometimes clashing with traditional or local dating practices.

In countries where dating customs are more conservative or family-involved, the sweeping ideals of passion and instant connection popularized by romcoms can create tension. Young adults may feel pressured to emulate these grand gestures or swift romantic decisions, sometimes to the detriment of building relationships grounded in communication and understanding.

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Navigating between fantasy and reality in modern dating

Recognizing the influence of romcoms allows us to navigate our expectations more consciously. While these films offer entertainment and a dose of hope, it’s important to balance cinematic fantasy with realistic understanding. True relationships are built on effort, compromise, and shared growth rather than choreographed moments and perfect timing.

By distinguishing between the joyful exaggeration on screen and the complexities of real-life relationships, individuals can set healthier expectations. Communication and mutual respect become the foundation, rather than grand gestures or plot-driven outcomes.

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Final thoughts

On a final note, beware of unrealistic expectations, like wanting your partner to be the source of your happiness or to change their core values. Don’t expect your partner to feel or react exactly as you do. Above all else, don’t expect perfection – it’s the opposite of what makes a relationship good. One might seek perfection because of romcoms, but it can be a form of self-sabotaging behavior, where you aim for an unattainable ideal and eventually blame the relationship’s failure on this illusion rather than addressing real issues.

Understanding the cinematic lens through which many view love can help us appreciate romance without becoming trapped by unrealistic ideals. Instead of striving for a perfect romcom romance, focus on building genuine connection, mutual understanding, and shared joy.