QUICK AND DIRTY: LIVE FROM SAN SEBASTIAN

More than 100 cardinals have travelled to the Vatican from every corner of the planet in order to congregate and choose a new leader, after the unexpected death of the latest pope. They must select his successor by casting their secret and individual vote inside a large metallic urn repeated times, until the ballot returns a majority winner. The elections from heaven are the run with the glee and histrionics of a beauty pageantry – except that the costumes here are a lot more expensive and extravagant. Despite the solemn atmosphere, the ruby red cardinal cloaks and a few faces green with envy add a lot of colour to the proceedings. The tiny, external chimney blows black smoke every time they fail to find a winner. Large crowds wait anxiously outside for white smoke, the first sign that the new pope has finally been selected, in a ritual that has remained mostly unchanged since time immemorial.

Dean Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes) is tasked with overseeing the entire process, which turns out to be dirty and profane. The holy men are prepared to lobby, cheat and sabotage their opponents, much like politicians on the campaign trail. Lawrence’s own name appears amongst the top candidates, despite him firmly rejecting any papal ambitions (apparently cardinals can vote for whoever they wish, regardless of their desire to take part in the election). To some, Lawrence’s humility and lack of pretension are an asset. He is the good guy, in a movie populated with stock characters. A mysterious cardinal called Benitez (Carlos Diehz) is a staunch supporter of the reluctant dean. He was added to the conclave last minute after serving in the Archdiocese of Congo and Afghanistan. The Pope kept his ordination a secret for reasons revealed much later.

A battle of egos ensues, in a film more concerned with intrigue, bickering and personal feuds than with more profound and serious philosophical, spiritual and religious questions. The topics of uncertainty, doubt, faith, sin and fallibility are briefly discussed, yet they function as a mere plot driver for the multithreaded conspiracies. Lawrence is very worries that the deeply reactionary Tedesco (Sergio Catellitto) could win the “contest” and then sink the Church into alienation from progressive followers. The cardinal’s name (which means “German” in Italian) is presumably a riff on the election of ultraconservative German pope Ratzinger (Benedict XVI). The psychology of Tedesco is never investigated in depth, the focus instead remaining on his colourful opponents. Gay-hating Nigerian Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati) is increasingly popular, while cocky American Tremblay (John Lithgow) offers a more palatable option for reformists (even if his tactics are morally questionable). Stanley Tucci plays Bellini, another American candidate, closely aligned with Lawrence. He is convinced that every cardinal fantasises of becoming pope, and challenges his seemingly unambitious friend: “you have already chosen your papal name, just admit it!”

The topic of LGBT+ rights is briefly mentioned a couple of times, yet it’s never discussed in detail. What is it that the Church disapproves in same-sex relationships? Is homosexuality “intrinsically disordered”, as described in the Church teachings? What about the other letters of the continuously growing acronym (the “t” for “trans”, the “s” for “intersex”, non-binary people, and so on)? One of these identities comes full circle at the end of the film, with an extremely bizarre twist and an even more unexpected resolution. Women’s rights are also briefly addressed. A nun played by Isabella Rossellini makes a groundbreaking revelation that could change the course of the ballot, after asserting: “you may think that we [women] are invisible, but we have eyes and ears”.

Based on Robert Harris’s eponymous novel, Conclave is intriguing enough to keep you hooked for its entire duration of two hours. The top-drawer, experienced performers help to ensure that the characters remain engaging, and that the run-of-the-mill script rivet your eyes and your ears (despite the prominent plot holes). Just don’t expect Conclave to challenge your brain, your morals and your virtues. This is a movie that’s very timid in its criticism of the Catholic Church, and – despite purporting to present a battle between modernity and tradition – it never makes any robust socio-political statements and addresses the complexities of the identity movement. Except for the ending. But that’s too little, too late and a little clunky.

Conclave is in the Official Competition of the 72nd San Sebastian International Film Festival. Austro-German director Edward Berger had previously won an Oscar for All Quiet on the Western Front (2o22), and has been tipped to direct the next Bond film. That’s a terrain far more fertile for meaningless intrigue, devoid of ontological reflections and reverent questioning.